Jacklitos!

Dearest Readers,

My Jacklitos, how are you? Ha Ha, Great! Well now we are good friends eh? Splendid! So here we are....you know what I am getting at. If someone rapes a prostitute is it stealing? Untor!! Moving on, we are such good friends now, I think of you as my lil litos, my figurative children, but I have reached a rough patch. I need a surgery so I can get better, and you want me to get better, don't you? See (a pun in the future, you can laugh later) I have been betrayed by myself, my organs of sight, they are trying to have me killed. You know what my dear friends, the insurance company consider it an "elective surgery." I know what an outrage! So this is where we are, please my Jacklitos, I need to see, the rest of my body depends upon it. So give me a call my friends: 1-800-510-6763. Day or night my litos!

My life is in your hands.

Cheez-It Sandwich

I had not done this in a long time, I stepped off the sidewalk. The soft wet bristles met my size thirteens and there was rejoice. The soft earth was an old friend-Why weren't the homeless interested? I looked to the sky, lights swimming like tiny fish, frantic and crowded. I need to release my arm: I think it is time for a Cheez-It Sandwich!

"When life just is not going to plan, grab a Cheez-it Sandwich!"