But Swazee is DEAD! I know, I know, but because Warner Brothers saw the potential in making a movie centered around dancing they brought Patrick Swayze back from the dead. As Step it Up and Step it Up 2: The Streets, saw huge profits, Warner Brothers wanted a taste. Forcing Swayze's corpse to sign a 5 year contract of exclusive work in exchange for his life.
To raise Swayze from the dead, Warner Brothers had Native Americans revive them with their ancient powers. The only way Patrick could be revived is if he fully assimilated into the tribe. According to eye witness reports, Swayze has changed his name to Apache and looks like the picture to the left. Warner Brothers will be releasing the footage of his revival on UPN in a 12 part series.
After finishing the revival process, Apache was quickly sent to the studios to film a sequel to one of his most beloved films, Dirty Dancing 2: Dancing 2 Fornicate. As the title infers the movie will be dirtier and sexier. Coming out in 2011.
It seems that my world is getting creepy...sickening even and I am not talking about the heavy drinking. Which leads to:
Number of Deaths for Leading Causes of Death in the US
- Heart disease: 631,636
- Cancer: 559,888
- Stroke (cardiovascular diseases): 137,119
- Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 124,583
- Accidents (unintentional injuries): 121,599
- Diabetes: 72,449
- Alzheimer's disease: 72,432
- Influenza and Pneumonia: 56,326
- Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 45,344
- Septicemia: 34,234
Five Leading Causes of Death, USA, Ages 15-24, 1998
- Accidents: 12,752
- Homicide: 5,233
- Suicide: 4,003
- Cancer: 1,670
- Heart Disease: 961
My Own Top Ten Possible Causes for Death
(In no particular order)
Try it at home with your friends!
- Oncoming traffic
- Homicide (too many peeps be hatin' yo)
- Fire (includes spontaneous combustion and fire ants)
- A moment where I should have ducked
Learn-ed by Limbless Jack at 21:44
Have sweaty armpits? It's the....worst, huh? If you're anything like me, you have six to seven different types of deodorant at any time and take 4 showers a day. Now you can cure yourself with surgery, cutting off all your sleeves or attaching electric sponges to your pits, but who wants to try those invasive and potentially deadly procedures. So I would like to hark back to the time of the Native Americans.
You're Welcome Interwebs.
Learn-ed by Limbless Jack at 00:06