Combs are what you'll be needin' because love is in the air, love. That's right I have yet again made the world a better place! Tired of that six-pack look that all the gals and guys have? The Love-patch simply attaches to ones stomach and let the sexy-ness go wild! Pets love their belly being rub and you will too, since you'll have the same belly. But don't guys already have the happy trail? Yeah but rubbing that fur is like caressing a stretched sweater over a bald mans head. So the crack team on Limbless Inc. invented polar bear plugs for men, including special two for one deal where if you pay for your belly you get a free fur patch plug on your head.

Also coming soon: The Oven Sock, for food that needs a good kick. Soon you'll be asked to, "Stick your foot in there to see if the roast is done."

Flapping Jack:

Essay time! Compare and Contrast the difference between Medieval Europe and present day South Carolina.


I've been out

So my dear friendliest readers, I return a changed person...I have seen both the future and the past and now "know what to do." I was told that by a sensitivitier and shes been right before.

Speaking of sensitive, lets talk time travel. I know that this is a loaded issue, with some people on the right to choose and the others: murder. But good news readers! Chris, a friend that I have recently met, is a time traveler! He is saving the white man...in the past. Did you realize that James Dean, Winston Churchill and Vanilla ice were all really big dorks until Chris came to the rescue?

Moving on, Wind power...Mr. Pickens calls the USA a Saudi Arabia of Wind. This oil Tycoon turned wind power nut has another thing coming if he think he can ruin my wind. What else do we have left that is free anymore? Bacon? Theres nothing else and I would just like to state wind is my best friend. It has always been letting my kites and contacts fly! Why does Pickens have to pick on my wind? Why can't we just keep up with nuclear power that is so safe?

I am starting a new section to my blog, I call it Flapping Jack. Flapping Jack knows about sex, and if you don't know about Indian Rubbing, You have NOT been doing it (right).

word, Jack Flap


6.6 degrees!

It is official we are about 7 people away from EVERYONE (and Kevin Bacon). Do you realize what this means reader? We have to move out of the planet! Do you really want people knowing you? Do you really want to join that facebook club? Do you really want to be the same? Not me, I say it's time to go Columbus all over the moon/mars ass. Hell, just for the sake of it we will call the next planet we colonize: west earthies.

I'm sure there some people out there that think this is great...Butts. These people don't realize that they are stealing your life force, they make you like them, they take your originality, you are becoming watered down by your friends. Do you want to be diet coke? Tulta munille!

Comment of the Week
"You know limbless, you and Alf are the exact same except Alf eats cats."

Wrong again.