Showers are your Friend: an Educational Blog

Recently I have been getting a lot of comments on my showering habits (like showering 7 times a day is a crime), and it is obvious to me that they are in the wrong. Here are a few key points on showering.

--How to Shower--
1. Turn on the water in the shower area (make sure it is the right temperature)
2. Enter the shower room
3. Become wet (just let the water remove the icky)
4. Now the fun begins, Experiment with different type of showers (I will explain personal favorites later). Most commonly people use soap and shampoo, make these items your best shower buddy. Showering should be a pleasant experience, never do anything in a shower that your not comfortably. (personally I am not a big fan of yoga showering)
5. Rinse all cleansing products from your body.
6. When you feel ready (which is never for me) exit the shower.

--Notes on Showering--
~Sleeping in showers is a great way to keep clean and catch up on needed Zzz's.
~Never run in showers.
~Electronics are a NO! Remember what Abel said to Cain "Don't put that there"
~Take into consideration what foods are water-proof so to speak, Cantaloupe good, Sandwich bad!
~Peeing in the shower is considered by some to be a major faux-pas, when showering with others be courteous and don't do it.
~Remember to remove your clothes before showering.if you don't own an iron leave your clothes in the bathroom while you shower, it will steam press them.
~Do not try to use fireworks in the shower, it is a waste.
~Not showering everyday is barbaric. Make it a daily habit!

--Types of Showers--

Jamaican Shower- Usually refers to taking a shower while taking pot, but one can take other types of mind expanding narcotics.

Hooker Shower- Coined by the famous comedian George Carlin, it refers to a quick shower where one cleans only three parts of the body: Crotch, Ass and Armpits. Editors note, only do under extreme circumstances!

Shower Orgy- My personal favorite, It is where the showeree enters into continual showers over the course of a day. I usually do this on weekends, entering into shower intercourse about 7 times a day.

--In next weeks edition on showering, Bleach: clean that dirt off right, Steel wool sponge makes the best washcloth!, and of course Q and A- L Jack answers readers questions.