Limbless Jack's Fashion or How I Do Not Own a Mirror

Dear Readers,
I know you have been wondering but Jack what kind of fashion do you wear and how can I be as fashionably accessible as you? Well fear not reader fan, I will guide you with the look of 2008.

If you're like me you want to look sharp for any situation, and maintain a classical look I always wear my bunny ears. Bunny's are considered the most fiercest animal in America and businessmen like to bring that intimidation to work. And if you have to wear shoes, always make sure that they do not have shoe laces, you could accidentally choke another with those very laces, so go for Velcro. Also make sure you shoes do something amazing, like glow in the dark or have Carrot Top logo on them.

Necks are beautiful and for the most part people do not 'show-hoff' their jugular. That's why the popular trend of long necking is being imported from Africa. This has been a trend in Africa for years and once you start yourself you will not want to quit, because you will die if you do. But mainly you'll be so damn sexuy.

Ace Bandage is the only way to keep your life on track, wrap your entire upper torso. especially around the area that twitches. This will give you an edge in any situation, even when someone you know gets stabbed! Now put a shirt on over the bandages and smile because you know that you cannot time travel.

Pants are not necessary (just like shoes) but it is a nice luxury. Make sure to get lots of pockets in your pants because you'll never know when you could get cluster pocket (an epidemic).

And now some of my friends who have been changed forever by my words on fashion:

And remember never use a mirror.

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