Major Tom? Are you There?

The campsite had become a mess from all the commotion, but it was now desolate. The makeshift gauze pads were soaked in blood, crusty. For two days, the little boy had watched as his older brother’s energy had slowly left. The wind brought in the smell of pine and a crispness; night was approaching.

The younger brother got to his feet, he grabbed his brother’s jacket. How different his brother was: helpless, weak, and withered. He turned and walked into the woods. His legs started to move faster and faster, he felt free, happy almost. His brother’s jacket became a cape as he dashed through the trees. How long would it take him to catch up?

The mountain of trees had clouds of fog dabbed here and there, like whip cream had splattered from the heavens. The fog starts to pull all together into strings and the spaces in-between become dark. The gray longhaired man’s face appears out of the hillside. His face is haggard and scrapped up, yet he is not that old. He is whispering, but no words are heard. The imagine leaves the boy and is replaced with large white words,

“QUIET AS THE FOREST”
"STEADY AS THE MOUNTAIN”
"SWIFT AS THE WIND ”

The boy kept running, it wouldn’t be long now. Suddenly he comes upon the bottom of a cliff, trapped! There is a giant hangar door on the side of the wall, the little boy is in shock, “What the hell?” cursing for the first time in his life. The view slowly pans from the boy’s face to his feet. A pair of man’s feet slowly and loudly walks up to the kid’s feet. “CRAAACK”, the boy’s body collapses and the gray haired man’s feet step over the body towards the giant door.

Robots Are Consuming 6-Packs!

According to research I have done off the interweb, it seems that we are in major trouble! First off, I had no idea they were so ahead of the game, I mean seriously, Robots that like to drink! Now I know what you're thinking, "Oh dear god, what do I serve a robot if it comes over for diner?" Don't worry, Jack has the answer(Limblesswers)! See robots do not have fully functioning taste buds, so they need something a little crasser.

A Flaming Dr. Pepper:

• 1/2 pint of beer
• 3/4 a shot glass of amaretto
• 1/4 a shot glass of Bacardi 151 or Everclear

1. Light the Shot glass on fire.
2. Hand both the half pint and shot glass to the robot.
3. Add flaming shot to beer.
4. Chug-a-lug.

I am not allowed to explain this picture, but lets just say I approve.

Obviouso!

As of recently I have been getting fan mail, pleading me to super impose a picture of themselves on a baby with a famous person. Well for a small fee, I will create a super imposed picture of you as a baby with celebrities. Don't take my word, hear what my happy customers have to say!
"I couldn't believe the level of detail!"
"A picture that proves they are my parents!"
"Finally could shut him up!"
"Two peas in a pod!"
"My Friends don't get it!"

So sign up today! If you sign up within 3 days of seeing this post, I will throw in an extra special gift, Bacon Bits Cheese Milkshake! Or you can just make it at home, take a cheese packet from a Mac 'n Cheese box and mix it in milk, top with some bacon bits and you've got a nutritious on-the-go beverage!