BAM-ber Alert

Dear Readers,
I care! I care so much that I am gonna blow those saps at Missing Children and Amber Alert out of the water. I mean are these guys really trying? Alright Venture Capitalists, I got a start up for your check books. We start a non-profit that finally updates the missing persons business. So what is the problem with the current system you ask? It does not utilize mind association, unless they want us to think that it was our local mailman or liquor store attendant.

The solution? Put these kids pictures on things that will make us associate with kidnappers.

We Will:
  • Put the missing picture on foreclosed houses. I feel that the general population assoiciates kidnappers with poorly taken care of homes. I know I do.
  • Get the pictures on vans, such as the vans that service people, like a plumbers van or electrician's. These vans are constantly moving around and they are also used by kidnappers.
  • Finally missing people pictures on tshirts, and with the courts help, pedophiles and kidnappers will be mandated to wear it at least once a week for a set time. This will have people really associating the napper and the nappee.

And I know what you are thinking, Does he have experience? These are my prior projects, I think this will change your mind. BAM-ber Alert!

1 comment:

Rachel S said...

I didn't even REALIZE I had been kidnapped until I saw my face on that pedophile's shirt! Thanks bamber alert!

P.S. could you just not find any pictures of real kids?