DIY: Man Corsets/Back Brace

Are in lower back pain or do you have a gut that won't quit guys? Are you too afraid to go to the store and pick up a woman's corset? Well listen up pussy, I have the solution for you, a simple and easy to make Homemade Man Corset(back brace to your friends).

The word TAPE capitalized looks retarded.

Toonces: His Story

Toonces was born on May 20th,  1983 with 7 other brothers and sisters. Many said he was different from the litter; he liked to do things that he wasn't very good at. At age 3 months and a half, Toonces decided to go a different route, he joined the Air Force to fight in the Grenada Conflict.

Toonces was dishonorably discharged for reckless behavior after only 2 months of service. He returned to the states and became a house cat, but he had shell shock and couldn't shake it. He turned to driving: recklessly. This caught the attention of Lorne Micheals, producer of the late night show, Saturday Night Live. Toonces was an instant hit, his skits were one of the few that were actually funny on the show during that time. But Toonces wanted to branch out, he was tired of being just the butt of jokes, but he had become type cast. He turned to drugs, drinking and driving. Those who knew him by the end say it was the cat nip that really did him in and yellow walls.

Toonces plays table tennis

David | MySpace Video

Exercise and The Night Walker

Devoted fans, I would like to turn your attention to a very special guest we have dwelling on the other side of my brain. He is not much for words, we don't actually know his name, but he is known as the Night Walker. One of his favorite activities is walking at night. The Night Walker would like to explain the ways he thinks everyone should exercise, but he is a drunk so Jack will paraphrase.

...Now fill the flask with a hard liquor and wait for dark because light hurts. Go to the bars, you must walk and preferably in a bad neighborhood. Drink as much as you can until the bars close. Now get home as fast as you can without anything but your own two feet. The people you will see will defiantly keep you motivated. Keep mind that breathing is important, so do it as little as possible (always have to be prepared for an unexpected choking).

If you're not into the whole running home from bars, there is another way. Locate yourself. Then find where the Minotaur lives (he's like a mean Richard Simmons, with the same outfit). And I know what you ladies are thinking, men only face Minotaurs, what can us women folk do? Well I have the answer, just like the Minotaur's mom, Pasiphaë, you can have sex with a bull. You will need someone to build you a cow outfit. The cow outfit will work your upper body, while the bull will work your lower...consult a doctor about being mounted by a bull before you take on this endeavor...ehhh?