26.4.09

Chinatown Revisited


Chinatown has some all time classics that few visitors would know about unless they knew where to look. I have searched high and low for all the best movies Chinatownwood has to offer.

Sex & Chopsticks (2008)

Rich scholar Simon Qing (Lam Wai Kin) has yet to lose his virginity despite being schooled in the art of love by his virile father (Norman Tsui Siu Keung). All that changes when he meets first love Violetta (Uehara Kaera), who introduces Simon to manhood through many encounters and even more positions. However, their multiple trysts fail to create a lasting love. Heartbroken, Simon takes to the road, where he meets a new woman, inexperienced nun Moon (Wakana Hikaru), who abandons her chaste ways to learn all about carnal pleasure from Simon. But even after marrying Moon, Simon is not satisfied, and his morality slowly erodes in favor of his boundless lust. He soon falls for Golden Lotus (Hayakawa Serina), who charms him with her natural beauty and small bound feet. Golden Lotus is married to ugly merchant Wu Da Lang (Ng Chi Hung), but even the covenant of marriage is no obstacle to Simon. Together, he and Golden Lotus plot Da Lang's murder, so that she can join Simon's growing harem of wives.

Cholos: La Ley Del Barrio
(2003)

"The Tank," the leader of a group of gangsters, is a violent delinquent without scruples,hated by everyone in the community. He and his gang of thugs make their money charging local merchants a monthly fee for protection. But now "the Pork", his archenemy and a rival gang leader, wants a piece of the action and tries to take over his enemy's profitable territory. The violent gang war that erupts leaves in its bloody path of destruction many dead bodies.

Sudden Vanished (2003)

Some undefined and can't even explain by Scientifics' cases, those cases will be transfer to File-X. Officer, Sam was interested to these cases, but since the authority problem, he can't investigate those cases.Then Sam and Judy was found the Sky Eye Lab, in the first day of the Lab, a mystery person come in and left a case and a lump sum of fund. After they went thought the case, they found that is related to UFO organization and End of the World...

Rape Trap (1998)

Fleeing from Shenzhen police on a motorcycle, Li Shan-shan (Choi) loses control of the bike and goes off an embankment into the ocean. She washes ashore some time later with amnesia, is taken to prison, and sentenced to hang. Flashbacks show how Shan-shan's boyfriend, Liang Chun-hwa (Michael Tse Tin-wah), convinces her to participate in a scheme with Ted Hwang (Anthony Wong Chau-sang). The latter's father has recently died and left him with a large sum of money but Ted can only collect it if he is married. Teetering on the edge of bankruptcy, Ted offers Shan-shan $600,000 if she will agree to be his wife, a plan that Chun-hwa heartily endorses, as he wants the money to open a restaurant. While taking a physical in preparation for the wedding, Ted and Shan-shan learn that they share the same rare "HR" blood type. They sign the necessary forms but Chun-hwa clearly has trouble dealing with the situation. Ted and Shan-shan then meet with solicitor Chen Chi-pang (Chan Kin-pang), who gives Ted the document he must endorse to get his father's estate.
Not surprisingly, Ted has other plans for this business deal, slipping a drug into Shan-shan's drink and then raping her. He also takes compromising pictures of the woman and threatens to show them to Chun-hwa unless she continues to be his sexual plaything. When Shan-shan and Chun-hwa confront Ted, a scuffle ensues and the blackmailer is stabbed. Thinking that they have killed him, the couple flee the scene but Chun-hwa sees a way out: if Shan-shan consents to a blood transfusion for Ted, it will save his life. He is the only hope they have to prove their blackmail story and, even if he does pull through, there is no guarantee that Ted will tell the authorities the truth. Meanwhile, Chen has taken an interest in the case and, with the aid of his foster father (Eddy Ko Hung), does what he can to help Shan-shan out of this mess.


15.4.09

The Recession and You


The Depression 2.0 is upon us and it seems no one can get a job or keep one for that matter. People are looking everywhere for extra cash and finally they turned to the web 2.0. My dearest readers have been sending in tons of letters, asking me to solve this problem and I have finally come up with a solution(2.0). A friend told me, "You can make more money by just marrying a person than working everyday of your life." T'is true, that is why I am starting a school, The Cabana Boy Institute (CBI).

As a Cabana Boy, I find that you will need Six basic things:
  1. A Pool
  2. Sun Screen
  3. Banana Hammock
  4. Aloe Vera (extra large tube)
  5. An Accent
  6. Raid
Pretty standard stuff and self explanatory. Edit: It seems people don't see the necessary applications of Raid as a pool boy. There are a ton of rodents in the area and as I always say, "Let the Raid do the touchin'."

For those female who are also hit by these rough times, get pregnant. It is the easiest way to get financially secure. I mean just look around you lately, don't you see a bunch of new babies or preggers ladies? Take a hint women.

Next Week: How do you get that women with a skimmer net and a marble bag? Also where not to spray and finally choosing the right accent for you.

6.4.09

The War on Cynicism


The Anti-Cynics logo.

It seems that there are some botards out there, telling me that I am dumb for being cynical. How dare they call a war against my Cynicism (and all other cynics)? I think its time to rally people, use that sarcasm to the point where it seems like you cannot be trusted. Convert others to this (pointless) cause. Show them the way! Attack positive countries, like Brazil and Canada (man we are surrounded...That's the Attitude..uh oh). I mean the Greeks came up with Cynicism and although is has no bearing on what the word means now, we should up hold what they started. How can we lose? The dark side always wins, always drags the other side down to their level.

If you need further help, watch this educational video and write your thoughts down about it.