Seal Beating Conference 2010

Well It looks like that time of year again! Where everyone gets out their favorite club and heads up to Canada to hit some nice seal noggin'. This November will be Canada's 23rd annual Seal Beating Conference (AKA SeeBee-Con)! Where people of all ages get together to beat on seals, trade and make clubs and confab about being a SeeBee.

Hand Made Seal Club

 This year will be adding even more than last year, with booths for children to make their own beating stick and Whack-a-Seal, fun for all ages!

Whack-A-Seal Booth

We are proud to announce new exciting way to bludgeon a seal: Club a "Navy" Seal. We pit you against some of the most dangerous seals we have. We dress them up in adorable Navy SEALs outfits and let them go into our contained seal environment. You will have to use your wit and cunning to beat these "Navy" Seals! 

Club a "Navy" Seal 

Sign up here to get your reservation! 

Dolphins: The Assholes of the Sea

Sometimes I am not serious, but mostly I never joke. So it angers me when people laugh at what I am about to tell you kind readers: Dolphins are Dicks. They steal your girlfriends, they rape people (like Hank from King of the Hill), and the worst thing about Dolphins...They take your WAVE!  These porpoises are only good for one thing: shark fin soup!

I have sent many emails to various Broadcasting stations warning them of the impending doom, only to get in return "We feel that Dolphins are caring, harmless creatures." But they don't know the danger, they are the police of the sea, why do you think they use sonar?

Dolphins thrive on kicking all the other animals out, including sharks, a long time friend of Limblessjack. Sharks are just the lovable pigs of the ocean, they just want to try everything before they die and who can blame them, I tried ox tail for the first time and it was delicious.