Dolphins: The Assholes of the Sea

Sometimes I am not serious, but mostly I never joke. So it angers me when people laugh at what I am about to tell you kind readers: Dolphins are Dicks. They steal your girlfriends, they rape people (like Hank from King of the Hill), and the worst thing about Dolphins...They take your WAVE!  These porpoises are only good for one thing: shark fin soup!

I have sent many emails to various Broadcasting stations warning them of the impending doom, only to get in return "We feel that Dolphins are caring, harmless creatures." But they don't know the danger, they are the police of the sea, why do you think they use sonar?

Dolphins thrive on kicking all the other animals out, including sharks, a long time friend of Limblessjack. Sharks are just the lovable pigs of the ocean, they just want to try everything before they die and who can blame them, I tried ox tail for the first time and it was delicious.