This week on Lost

I am so glad that this show finally ended....

The Sky is Falling

What the hell are you doing Obama! The economy is down in the dumps and you cut the one thing that is going to save us:

THE SPACE PROGRAM

As I see it readers, the earth is going to kill us all. It is just a big rock spinning around and around, and a predictable target is an easy one. I mean when the sea otters and aardvarks rise up against us, where will we go? We need to be ready to have an exit plan and mars is that plan. The moon is too close, those sea otters would get there so fast....and you really don't want a wet willy from an aardvark.  Defeat is eminent Homo Sapiens! Obama lets plant the seeds for tomorrows future, terraform that shit.

Don't let this become our future...

A Threat to the City

Murder's OSS

Do you find yourself unable to find a One Stop Shop for all your heinous needs and deeds? That annoying dog that keeps you up all night? That dead prostitute just lying in your hotel room? Well we've got the solution for you at Murder's One Stop Shop.  Your local gardening/hardware store doesn't have the answers that our confidant (legally bound to keep quiet) staff will have. Our aisle are set in an easy to use system, from murder weapons, costumes and most importantly clean up supplies and chemicals.

We Want You to Feel Confidant with Each Kill!









We only accept cash, it is for your own protection.

The Year 2016

In the Year 2016, There will be a great bond between the President of the United States and that of the Prime Minister of Canada. Their elections campaigns coincided at relatively the same time and their backgrounds made them good friends.


After President Obama finished his second term, the Democrats were in need of a strong candidate. The Green Party had a formable opponent, Robert K. Dole Jr., Son of Bob Dole. Luckily, the Democrats got their own contender: Paul Giamatti. Originally a semi-popular actor in the early 2000's, by the late teens he had become a has been.  Determined to get back in the limelight, he threw his hat in for presidency. Many thought it a joke, but he soon gained traction. Especially when he did the first international, cross-country campaign ticket. He teamed up with Canadian hopeful David Broadfoot, a comedian turned political advocate. Broadfoot had a long career as a comedian, and in later years had started writing political books. The two candidates took a road trip starting in New York and traveling in and out of each others country, giving joint speeches, interviews and photo ops. The road trip was highly successful and gave the two candidates a huge bump which eventually lead them to victory.

-Limbless Jack reporting from the Future