30.12.08
Bigfoot Kept Limbless J. as Love Slave!
So as of tonight I applied for an internship to STA Travel. A college traveling agency, they give cheap flights to students. They currently have a great internship, which lets people between the ages of 18-26 to travel around the world for 3 months. I was so elated when I learned that there was a chance that I could travel for FREE! So I worked on a video log and a fake blog account, day and night I toiled. Finally I had a finished product:
I send my sweet video and a few things about myself into STA. I immediately get an auto-e-mail from the good ole boys at STA, with a little link to the judges...(outrage). I am furious, I didn't realize that they hired nerfherders to judge me.
There is "Teflon Spin"
"The most chill of all the judges on board. Spin’s checkin’ out your style to make sure you can handle the culture shock of these adventures."
Well fuck, had I known that MTV from the 90's was running this operation I would've talked about my love for TRL and everything Spears.
And "Stan D-lone"
ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE! He wants to know "what makes you unique." When I look at his picture I see a guy who constantly quotes Borat and a (STD) burning for people to socially accept him.
So as I go through Jury Duty I wonder: am I being judged by my peers?
Flappin' Jacks : Full coverage on the next US war, will it prove fruitful? Will we be able to invade Canada for its precious resource: Universal Healthcare? And for our insatiable desire for better internet? Jack flapped...birdie go home.
26.12.08
They Come to Me in Threes
Thank you Attack of the Show for showing the world that geeks don't need to be ugly, that we do not have to quit our modeling day jobs! For too long now Das Models have been hiding their dweeb colors, fighting that urge to play video games and talking about the Hadron Collider. So thank you Olivia and Kevin and the rest of the crew at AOTS, for being like me: Funny, Geeky and most importantly good looking. You have paved the way.
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15.12.08
4.12.08
USPS Employee Newsletter (December)
Happy Holidays!
I hope all our dedicated staff is prepared for the flurry that is coming this month. We have automated many of the forwarding services to better cope with the high volume of packages that we will be dealing with this season. Theft is of utmost importance this year, we will not tolerate any theft of any kind. Anyone caught stealing will have their bonus check confiscated. As for safety this year: remember if it seems odd to you, REPORT IT. Also we would like to remind our employees that the cavalry armor is required by law to be worn at all times and the monthly visits to the Doctor for a CAT Scan.
In other news our hearts go out to the following districts:
41 Marietta st, Atlanta, GA
108 Salem st, Rutland, OH
2004 Freedom Blvd, Freedom, CA
30180 Redfield, Shafer, MN
Cut so short in their prime sorting years.
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