But Swazee is DEAD! I know, I know, but because Warner Brothers saw the potential in making a movie centered around dancing they brought Patrick Swayze back from the dead. As Step it Up and Step it Up 2: The Streets, saw huge profits, Warner Brothers wanted a taste. Forcing Swayze's corpse to sign a 5 year contract of exclusive work in exchange for his life.
To raise Swayze from the dead, Warner Brothers had Native Americans revive them with their ancient powers. The only way Patrick could be revived is if he fully assimilated into the tribe. According to eye witness reports, Swayze has changed his name to Apache and looks like the picture to the left. Warner Brothers will be releasing the footage of his revival on UPN in a 12 part series.
After finishing the revival process, Apache was quickly sent to the studios to film a sequel to one of his most beloved films, Dirty Dancing 2: Dancing 2 Fornicate. As the title infers the movie will be dirtier and sexier. Coming out in 2011.
25.1.10
19.1.10
Team building
It seems that my world is getting creepy...sickening even and I am not talking about the heavy drinking. Which leads to:
Number of Deaths for Leading Causes of Death in the US
- Heart disease: 631,636
- Cancer: 559,888
- Stroke (cardiovascular diseases): 137,119
- Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 124,583
- Accidents (unintentional injuries): 121,599
- Diabetes: 72,449
- Alzheimer's disease: 72,432
- Influenza and Pneumonia: 56,326
- Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 45,344
- Septicemia: 34,234
Five Leading Causes of Death, USA, Ages 15-24, 1998
- Accidents: 12,752
- Homicide: 5,233
- Suicide: 4,003
- Cancer: 1,670
- Heart Disease: 961
My Own Top Ten Possible Causes for Death
(In no particular order)
Try it at home with your friends!
- Drowning
- Oncoming traffic
- Homicide (too many peeps be hatin' yo)
- Cancer
- Fire (includes spontaneous combustion and fire ants)
- Alcohol
- A moment where I should have ducked
- Earthquake
- Falling
- Cults
6.1.10
Sweat the Pits
Have sweaty armpits? It's the....worst, huh? If you're anything like me, you have six to seven different types of deodorant at any time and take 4 showers a day. Now you can cure yourself with surgery, cutting off all your sleeves or attaching electric sponges to your pits, but who wants to try those invasive and potentially deadly procedures. So I would like to hark back to the time of the Native Americans.
Although they did not wear shirts, they too had to deal with sweat coming out of their axilla. They wore armbands to prevent the leaking. "But Jack, they didn't have to worry about pit stains like the western world has to!" That is where I come in, I have tweaked the armband slightly to make it more viable as a pit stain preventer in this day and age.
You're Welcome Interwebs.
24.12.09
Gilroy police look for homeless man accused of attack with sword
Gilroy police are looking for a 52-year-old homeless man who they say attacked a homeless Kevin Costner look-a-like with a sword. If you see a homeless man with a sword, keep your distance and contact the authorities. The Kevin Costner look-a-like could not be reached for comment.
Similar attacks are happening all across the US.
14.12.09
W. Of Orange
Well, I haven't been honest with you, my closest friends, I have a love...an addiction...to Orange! I am sorry for keeping secrets from you internet, I promise to keep telling you everything. Now, I didn't notice my addiction until I moved out from under my parents reign. The Orange, it calls to me and I say yes every time. Then I eat it. So there you have it, a direct connection between, color, love and food! I have just solved life's major mystery. So without any further ado, my eating habits in no particular order and a list of Orange Citrus Fruits:
Navel Orange - is a lovely orange color, delicious, easily peeled, seedless fruit. It is produced by this medium sized tree and recognized as one of the sweetest oranges ever developed. The tree offers fragrant flowers in spring and beautiful foliage year round. Note: stole some from a neighbors tree on vacation at a friends...be sneaky my friends!
Valencia Orange - Juice anyone? These oranges are known for their flavorful and colorful juice. Natives of Florida, this fruit has a higher content of vitamin A compared with other citruses.
Mineola Tangerine- A new favorite, these have taken the world by storm. They are a cross between a Tangerine and a grapefruit. There are actually several types of mixes between a tangerine and other citrus.
Mandarin Orange- These have a pleasant enough flavor, but their big asset is that they come out of their peels and segment easily, so you can eat them in your good clothes (Tuxedo T-shirt). Varieties include the popular tangerine, the seedy but juicy Honey Tangerine or Murcott, the Satsuma Orange, the sweet and tiny Clementine Orange, and the seedy and orange-flavored Temple Orange. Personally the easiest to carry around and eat. I take these to bars and trade the bartender for a beer (aka use them for a "tip").
Fun Facts/Traditions From Wikipedia
- Mac and Cheese (Kraft only)
- American Cheese
- Cantaloupe
- Cheetos
- Oranges (currently eating 5 a day)
Navel Orange - is a lovely orange color, delicious, easily peeled, seedless fruit. It is produced by this medium sized tree and recognized as one of the sweetest oranges ever developed. The tree offers fragrant flowers in spring and beautiful foliage year round. Note: stole some from a neighbors tree on vacation at a friends...be sneaky my friends!
Valencia Orange - Juice anyone? These oranges are known for their flavorful and colorful juice. Natives of Florida, this fruit has a higher content of vitamin A compared with other citruses.
Mineola Tangerine- A new favorite, these have taken the world by storm. They are a cross between a Tangerine and a grapefruit. There are actually several types of mixes between a tangerine and other citrus.
Mandarin Orange- These have a pleasant enough flavor, but their big asset is that they come out of their peels and segment easily, so you can eat them in your good clothes (Tuxedo T-shirt). Varieties include the popular tangerine, the seedy but juicy Honey Tangerine or Murcott, the Satsuma Orange, the sweet and tiny Clementine Orange, and the seedy and orange-flavored Temple Orange. Personally the easiest to carry around and eat. I take these to bars and trade the bartender for a beer (aka use them for a "tip").
Fun Facts/Traditions From Wikipedia
- Orange trees are a symbol of love and marriage in many cultures. Oranges are sometimes found in Renaissance paintings of married couples. One of the most famous is Jan van Eyck's "Wedding Portrait of the Arnolfini".
- Brides traditionally wear orange blossoms in their hair or carry them in their bouquet at their wedding. Orange blossoms are often part of the decoration on a wedding cake.
- Queen Victoria was given a coronet of gold and enamel orange blossoms by her husband Albert. When their children were born, he had a jeweller add tiny green oranges to the coronet.
- If an orange is peeled with a knife, it is possible to cut the peel off in one long unbroken piece.
- Schoolgirls in some countries chant a rhyme, and throw the long orange peel over their shoulder, then look at how it falls to find the initial letter of the name of the boy that loves them.
- In some countries, "blood oranges" are seen as a symbol of the death of Jesus.
- In some European countries, a "Christingle" is a Christmas decoration using an orange and a candle to symbolise Jesus' love for the world.
- In cold countries, when fruit was scarce, an orange was often given at Christmas. In England, it was traditional to stuff the toe of a child's Christmas stocking with raisins, almonds and oranges.
- Oranges are sometimes used to make a sweet-smelling "pomander" to perfume a room. This is done by sticking the stalks of cloves into an orange, and allowing the orange to dry out.
- Orange jam is called "Marmalade". Traditionally, it is said to have been first made for Mary Queen of Scots or Marie Antoinette when they were sick. Neither of these stories is true, as marmalade was made in Portugal for many years before either of them was born.The term "marmalade", originally meaning a quince jam ("marmelada" in Portuguese), derives from the Portuguese word for this fruit marmelo.
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